Mobile Phones: Keeping People Connected?

My sister and I are on the phone talking and laughing about everybody we know, when suddenly she says, "Oh, my God, where is the toilet paper?"

It turns out she's at the grocery store, but when I think about what we've been talking and laughing about, I almost wish she really was sitting on the toilet. At least she doesn't have me on speaker phone. She doesn't have me on speaker phone, does she?

Mobile phones have certainly changed things, and not all for the better. In less than 20 years, they've gone from clunky suitcase phones to slim hand-held devices, from status markers to necessities of life. It used to be I could tell when someone was actually talking to me, and I used to know that people who were talking to no one in particular were best avoided. It used to be that I would sometimes wonder about the people I saw around me; now they tell me more than I ever wanted to know. It used to be that I'd see college kids walking in groups, enjoying each others' company; now I see them walking together, but they're all on cell phones, virtually somewhere else. It used to be that going away to college meant forming new attachments in a new place and becoming part of a new community; now the cell phone makes it too easy to avoid cutting the apron strings.

Cell phones also have created new etiquette issues and I'm not sure anyone knows what the new rules are, much less agrees on them. I can't help but feel slighted when a friend takes phone calls over lunch when we're supposed to be catching up on things. Multitasking is a myth, which is why I still can't drive and talk on the phone at the same time. It isn't always wonderful to be always so available: It can be inconvenient, rude, and even dangerous.

On the other hand, cell phones have made it easier and cheaper to stay connected with people when distance can't be helped. It used to be that going away to college meant losing touch with family and friends because long-distance calls were just too expensive, and there was no such thing as email or AIM. It used to be that getting separated from the group or getting stranded in the car was not only frustrating, but potentially dangerous. When we moved to a new town six years ago, my daughter didn't lose touch with her old friends as would have happened when I was a kid; she still talks and texts to them regularly--in addition to communicating with them via AIM and Facebook.

Doubting the value of cell phones and other technologies is actually a positive exercise because it makes me realize that most of what I complain about is the lack of etiquette and the annoying distractions--which are nothing new. There have always been rude people; there have always been distractions. This lack of etiquette and lack of attention to the people around us threatens community, not the cell phone itself. A lot of people believed in the cell phone, and that has led to innovations in communication that, quite honestly, I never imagined would be possible in my lifetime.

Doubting and Believing is the yin-yang of critical thinking it seems to me: Does Doubt remind us that even great ideas have drawbacks, while Belief sets us up to be cheated? Or does Doubt prevent us from dreaming and achieving, while Belief sustains us through what seem to be impossible challenges? When it comes to technology, too much or too little of either Doubt or Belief can be a dangerous thing--but where is that happy medium?